Bargaining

If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once i know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes...”

Albert Einstein


Swaths of sky stretch, and satin raindrops pierce parchment. 
Divulging the secrets of eternity.

Lightly.
Proceeding to clean the sin from the flesh.

Though, I desire a downpour of sorts.
For I suspect I've become too comfortable.

Foregoing the struggle,
content to cuddle beside the false fires. 

Warming my being with the lies I tell me.

“...Soon, I'll get back to reality.
For now, I'll wear my jacket...”


If you’re reading this, it means you’re alive.

Congratulations. 

A lot has happened this year.

Covid craziness to be sure. But a lot of good, too.

Mr. Elon sent two whole human beings into orbit just a few months ago.

Remember that?

Anyway.

We made it.

Feels like bush fires, impeachment rumors, and talks of WW III were decades ago.

Now, a dozen months later, and we remain in the throes of a global pandemic near the back end of what has been a particularly divisive season in Democracy Today!

Not just in America. Globally.

(See #EndSars)

Political dissilusionment is at an all time high.

Wild. Inevitable. 

Humanity was (is?) on a crash course.

Seems to me that reality got our attention the only way it could; with a good ol’ fashioned smack to the face.

And now, we wake.

(At least, we try.)

Few still hold on to old paradigms, like cultural dead weight.

Bargaining with with the future, attempting to maintain a facade of status in what has become a morally rotten society.

I get it.

Old habits die hard.

And I’m still trying to figure how to move through this clusterf*ck of indifference.

So please.

Indulge me.

Imagine a world where bad habits made people popular

Well, then people might glorify said habits, be proud of them perhaps.

Maybe, even identify with them.

It would make sense.

The labels have become so crucial to their self concept, that to do away with them would be akin to social suicide.

Bummer.

Hence, the bargaining.

Welcome to step three.

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In the stages of processing grief, there involves a lot of “what if’s” and “maybes”.

Opportunity costs, as it were.

They often keep us a state of perpetual negotiation.

We need to feel in control, and so, we act in ways that maintain this illusion.

Becasue, it is an illusion.

There is a universe of complexity within each of us, 99% of which run on processes that do not require your conscious input.

Couple that upon the 99% of the universe we can’t see. Or the insane amount of ocean yet to explore. Or the myteries of gravity and time. Or yawning.

Seriously, science still can’t explain yawning.

Point is, we make our own decisions.

Because each step taken is just another bargain we’re making with the future.

And each one has a cost.

Habits then, are like negotiation algorithms.

They bypass conscious effort by sending neurons on a quick detour around the thinking part of your brain, and you proceed straight to the action bit.

Where we spend time reveals to us our deepest priorities.

Maybe more so, they also reveal to us some assumptions often made.

Is truth relative? Maybe.

Though we run into a small problem.

Why does anything even matter? Including that opinion?

Is God a human construct? Perhaps.

But, if it’s all nonsense, then so is the idea of beauty.

Or love.

The path back to yourself requires unlearning

The demolition is usually one that will require high levels of radical honesty with self about the faults found in the foundation.

Some build homes on the sinking sand of pop culture.

Thats temporary.

Here today, gone tomorrow. Just like every great civilization; from Atlantis, to Rome, to The Soviet Union. Sudden collapse is just outside the scope of our immediate perception, In fact, historically speaking – we’re due for a good world war.

I’m not an anarchist.

But I am saying.

Best begin the process of building something.

Unless you’re a fan of government sponsored cheese.


There’s still time.

In fact, there is tons of it.

That isn’t to say that the cost of change is low.

(At least, wasn’t for me.)

Authentic growth is not a journey for the faint of heart. ‘

Evolution is a like, tending a garden.

So of course, I had to glean some perspectives from a farmer.

Also, recorded some music, started a podcast, published a book

Blablabla. The point is.

You can do it too.

Now my focus is finally getting clearer, though I’ve still some work to do.

Frankly, I think I’ve learned more about myself in the past year than I had in the previous 20, and so I’m grateful. 

2020 wasn’t a bad year. Not really.

More like, revelatory.    

The walls are falling down, and what was once concealed, is now being revealed.   

(we talked about that last chapter)

But, what’s next?

Few things I have in mind…

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Remember this tweet? Lol.

The “3-step plan”.

An initial rough draft of hazy visions I had for the future.

Now a year and a half removed, and I’ve seen some things.

I’ve also had to refine the mission, and expound on some areas of intent.

Think of it as my way of bargaining with the future.

Setting intentions, loud and clear.

For all to see.

I don’t mind haters.

Besides..

Nobody can block a blessing God has in store for you.

If it’s yours, it’s yours.

You just have to take it.

So, what do I look like… acting with trepidation?

Fear is for old Toso.

We move with love now.


Quick recap of my story, in case you’re not a fan.

Born in London, 1993.

Moved to The States by late ‘98.

Married my high school sweetheart.

“Yada yada yada.”

Divorced my high school sweetheart.

Got arrested (after a super weird day.)

Was promptly placed in a psych ward and diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Jumped ship.

Spent the summer in Cali. 

Jumped ship (again) + spent the year in England.

And now, here I am.

Still.

Trying to figure this thing out.

2020 feels like the first year of my actual life.

The version in which I control my destiny.

Fast forward to December, and we arrive at my current position.

The mission remains the same.

To reveal the complexity inherent in every soul.

To leverage human kindness for our collective good.

To make sense of what’s nonsensical, create dialogues where arguments one lay, and to shift our collective focus from what is transient, to what is eternal.

To wake us up, in a nutshell

They always say “keep your goals to yourself”

…but fuck that.

If it’s meant to be, it will come to pass.

I don’t fear man. Not anymore.

My Dad told me not to.

So, who is my biggest enemy?

The person staring back in the mirror.

To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. Carl Jung


Master Plan

ONE:

1.) Launch _______.

2.) Collaborate with authentic souls.

3.) Release a (good) album + publish a (good) book. 

Create dialogues, encourage thought. 

Live minimally + reinvest maximally + travel.

TWO:

1.) Complete education & research.

2.) Purchase land. Begin to build.

3.) Optimize systems, scale solutions (close loops + export)

Invest in peopleconsistently.

Celebrate human progress – strategically.

THREE:

1.) Give shit away (intentionally.)

2.) Collate and condense insights into final book, launch publishing house.

3.) Build a school; pass baton to the youth.

Create the future.

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An angel & a heart, on the surface of Mars.

The mission: To reveal the good inherent in people.

In a word, to serve.

True wealth is built through self-sacrifice. 

A personal philosophy of sorts.

Like yeah get paid, but get made too.

It’s time to prioritize human life.

People over profits.

We can afford to let go of money now.

The “American Dream” is no longer a white picket fence.

(Not exclusively, at least.)

It’s a van lifer kicking it in California.

It’s an off grid cabin near a river.

It’s a recording studio.

Or a home library.

It’s community.

Sure, some still want their mega-mansions, and that’s fine.

But, what about us who wish to leave the rat race entirely?

Maybe you, if freed from current occupations, would just as readily opt for a beautiful view container home in the woods as you would a 3 story town home.

Ok, maybe not.

But you know what I mean.

We have everything we need.

The problem is, we don’t have everything we greed.

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Hypothetical redistribution of wealth from top 400 Americans ($3.5 T)

Let’s be honest.

There is more than enough to go around.
Food, water, land, money, etc…

Our role as life forms on planet earth are to use these gifts, and not to abuse them.

Yet, the current spread of wealth remains very heavily skewed.

This seems to me a problem of priorities.

So, how do we proceed?


As I see it, the first industrial revolution was geared toward agriculture and mechanical advancements. 

The second was a rebirth of the scientific method and the introduction of mass production. From atom bombs to domestic appliances.

The third is the digital one we see unfolding today. Social media and the internet of things have rendered us as nodes on a larger societal apparatus.

The fourth, will be social. 

We are not units of production.

We are human.

(i.e. units of creation)

It’s time to dream bigger.

Materialism can only take us so far.

We have to graduate to a new state of being.

The next revolution will allow us to realize our place in the universe. Holistically. Divorced from reductionist perspectives. Unified in truth.

We will then truly become one.

The pressing questions of 2020 and beyond cannot be answered by empiricism, because the pressing questions of our day are not measurable in that way.

Science can answer the who, what, when, and even where. 

Science cannot answer the “why”. 

That’s reserved for us.

Through reason, beyond logic, and approaching intuition.

We can discover the deeper implications of our observed realities by integrating them as one cohesive experience. We can extract purpose from objectivity.

We can tell stories.

Remember.

Narratives are how human beings organize information, in space and time.

Since the dawn of history we’ve known this, at least intuitively.

Stories represent a major pillar of an interpretive faculty. In some ways, they even represent a kind of reality realer than what we can glean from sensory experience. 

By extracting these patterns of behavior, we can start to realize certain truths which are evident across time.

The human condition becomes abstracted from the human vessel, and we can begin to approach Truth.

The best stories are the ones where a multiplicity of experiences are wrapped up in a singular narrative rich with plot, character development, and inquiry.

These are the types of stories which allow us to tease lessons from past minds, and use them to forge a path toward a collective future. 

To me, there’s nothing more real than that. 

So, that story you have?

Own it.

Step into the version of you that’s worth inclusion in the collective human story.

No more bargaining.

It’s time to build the future.

To rediscover a beauty that encapsulates all existence.

And to ignore the folks who’ve given up already.*

You’re on the path. 

In fact you’re already there.

Time is funny like that.


P.S.

Let’s be friends.* 

www.patreon.com/humankind

Published by Toso

I like big ideas and I cannot lie.

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